The people around me

Right after Connor passed away, one thing I noticed really early on was who was really there for us.  It's easy to say you're there, but to actually be there is something different.  I'm not going to lie- we were let down by a lot of people, but those that were there made all the difference.  Fortunately I'm also a homebody who doesn't need a lot of people around me.  I would much rather be at home with a few people I'm truly comfortable with than a whole bunch of people, so it was easy for me to shrug my shoulders, say "meh", and move on from the people who weren't there.

 I have noticed this time around that it's exactly the same in some ways.  There are people who are here that I knew would be here.  There are people who I thought would at least reach out who I have never once heard from.  Again... "meh" and move on.

But this time around I have also realized how amazingly lucky I am to be where I am because SO many people have reached out and I have been so deeply touched and overwhelmed and grateful.

My school/work community has truly been the most amazing thing to come out of this.  At school I keep to myself, get my work done... I'm me and I'm quiet.  I didn't feel like an outsider, but I didn't feel like I'd really weaseled myself in yet.  I knew everyone, but besides some "hi"s and "how are you"s we were busy.

But oh my word.

Once I was diagnosed in February my entire school community immediately rallied around me and I have been so amazingly grateful (and awful at sending Thank Yous).  A collection was set up to help offset some expenses (gas and parking and such).  A card drive was organized and bins were set up and when I picked up H from preschool (which is attached to my school) there would be cards and gifts waiting in the bins.  Once huge bins were filled with summery toys- one for each of my kiddos.  I received cookies and books and so many wonderful things from people I knew, but I had no idea really knew me.   My amazing class set up a dinner delivery for me.  We'd come home to amazing meals waiting for us twice a week.  We still have delicious dinners waiting in the freezer.  Old families from past years delivered their own meals and cards and "thinking of you"s.  Coworkers managed to get four full scholarships for my kiddos to attend summer camp while I'm at chemo and radiation-- something I never even considered, but has been such an amazing and wonderful opportunity for my kids.  Early on I received a huge email put together by staff members who had "been there" filled with tips and groups and places to contact that help families dealing with cancer.

I just have felt so wrapped in love.   And I'm so very grateful (I've used that word a lot!) that I get to work with such an amazing and wonderful group of people.